Sunday, November 29, 2015

My friend brought balloons

I take care of my mother who has dementia which is practically a full time job. She is a wonderful woman but it can be difficult for us to know if she is actually there or not mentally. She has good days and bad days but she has bad days she forgets who I am. I have to remind her that I am her son and that I am taking care of her. Very rarely does this happen. For the most part I just clean up after her and feed her while giving her her medication from day to day. Up til recently she lived with us but with my wife expecting another baby we decided that it would be for the best to put my mother in a home with staff while giving us the chance to focus more on our child. My mother was upset but understanding as she agreed that this would be for the best. As a gift to make her feel more comfortable I bought her a pre paid cell phone which was a big deal to her since she never had one before. She absolutely loved it! It had her favorite game on it and she loved taking photos with the cheap phone. She would often send me a photo each day of the neighborhood cat or some flowers that were at her breakfast, silly things like that. My wife thought it was adorable and I did to. We would often get excited and laugh at the cute things she would send us. Her photos would come with a text about what my mom thought about the picture she sent us. My favorite was of "Nutty" the squirrel with my moms text saying "Here is Nutty again! He is a naughty squirrel!" Things were going great for her there at the retirement center. We could often tell when she was having one of those bad days when she wouldnt text us or that she would but it would be of her feet or of the wall. Something along those lines. It had been awhile since she had a bad day but out of the blue she stopped sending pictures but simply texts. These text were really bland, just mainly about her new friend that she made and how much fun they are having. I visited her like I always do every week and asked about her much anticipated photos. She told me that her friend didnt like photos since they bothered her. Most of these people here were pretty old and I could see how taking a picture would be rather troublesome for most. It made sense so I just came to terms with the fact that her photos were most likely over. The text continued and we were able to know how she was doing. After some time we began to be concerned about her texts. They were long and irrational which was very unlike her. They were about her friend who wanted to come into her room but since patients were not aloud in each other room this made my mom upset since she really liked her new friend. One text was about a plan that they talked about on how they should leave the home together and join a circus. This was really weird and made my wife uneasy. My wife told me that maybe I should tell someone about this but I didnt since my mom was probably having a bad day. One day while I was visiting I asked her about her friend and she changed her mood and didnt want to talk about it. She and her friend were arguing about how the room rule was dumb and that the friend said that it didnt apply for friends. I then became uneasy and asked her which room did her friend stay at and maybe they can meet somewhere that was close. Her responce didnt make any sense at first to me and I was really confused. She told me that her friend didnt stay there at the center. Was she having a bad day or is my mom being serious? I asked that since her friend wasnt a patient who was the friend and where would they talk? My friend lives in the woods and we talk at my window. My mom had to be having a bad day for sure and I dismissed it. Her room was on the end of the hall and there were woods near her window so this could have some possible chance of being true but it most likely wasnt. I tried to tell her that her friend is imaginary and that she doesnt need to worry. But my mother found this to be very difficult to understand. She was very certain that her friend was real and this made me sad to think that she was this lonely to be imagining friends. I told her that the next time she sees her friend that she should send me a picture to prove it. If she was right I would buy her an ice cream if not then she would have to stop talking about this "friend" of hers and promise to try to make a real friend. Days passed and I didnt receive her texts/photos. The day before I was to come visit I received a text from my mother and I saw that this was accompanied with a picture file titled "My friend brought balloons". I opened my texted from my mom and my blood ran cold. I immediately drove down to the center and checked her out of the facility. I called my wife and told her that mom would be living with us again and to get the guest room ready for her. As I left I alerted the manager that someone had been talking to my mother for weeks at her back window and that he had tried to get in her room. Had I not made that bet with my mother who knows what could have happened. Who was this person? What did this person want with my mother? Why was this person dressed as a clown?  All I know is, that it is worth losing an ice cream to my mother.

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